As received in an email today:-
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in,
=====she said: Cheque books.
* The easiest way to make your old car run better,
=====is...
more... to check the prices of new cars.
* What is the difference between men and pigs?
=====Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
* What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
===== A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute =====and then expects your pulse to be normal.
* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
=====New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness.
=====There is no mat.
* Why dogs don't marry?
=====Because they are already leading a dog's life!
* What's the diff between mother & wife?
=====One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
* Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
=====Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.